Added: Blair Menefee - Date: 23.09.2021 02:06 - Views: 27373 - Clicks: 6352
We can all get a little defensive from time to time, especially if something we hold dear is being threatened.
But dating a guy who took defensiveness to a new level completely changed how I date and even how I interact with men in general. Initially, I thought this guy was just opinionated. Starting out, I mistook his chronic defensiveness for an opinionated nature. I figured he was just always down for a friendly verbal sparring match and he really stuck to his guns when he had a point of view. Truthfully, I thought that was attractive in the beginning. Naturally, I had no idea just how bad it was at this point. He would make me feel terrible if I had any contrary thoughts.
If I ever disagreed with something he said, he would immediately jump on my words. In reality, he was the one doing the bullying.
Having productive conversations was impossible. All couples disagree sometimes. The key is being open with your S. Discuss both sides, have a respectful banter if you need to, and come to a decision together.
That was never an option with this guy. Typically, I just gave in because I was sick of fighting, and on the rare occasion I won out, he would be miserable for days afterward. It would often become quite aggressive. He never apologized. No matter how nasty our argument, he would never swallow his pride enough to say sorry to his girlfriend for making her cry last night. We would just move on like the whole incident had never happened, which was often the worse part.
The relationship quickly became manipulative. Eventually, I came to fear this backlash. He would either Why men get defensive me feel terrible about myself or we would end up getting into a huge, blowout fight—and this would just be because he wanted Thai and wanted seafood for dinner. In an effort to avoid fighting or feeling like I was some kind of monster picking at his flaws another direct quote, by the wayI just stopped disagreeing with him.
I actually convinced myself that he was just sensitive. He was outgoing, funny, and got along great with my friends; I never had the heart to tell them about our constant fighting because of how touchy he was. That was all the justification I needed to keep this relationship going WAY longer than it should have. Eventually, I came to my senses and broke things off. After only dating for two months, I had become a ball of stress and anxiety. One day, when he asked me out to dinner at a fancy restaurant, I realized I was actually scared to spend time with him.
That tremor of terror was the wake-up call I needed, and I broke things off that night. When I started dating again a few months later, I noticed that the way I interacted with men was different. I became meek and more submissive with men, something I came to resent in myself. Check out Relationship Hero a site where highly trained relationship coaches get you, get your situation, and help you accomplish what you want.
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